Do you know, who is Adarsh bahu? What makes any married woman Adarsh Bahu? As per the society rules- She can be anyone but not a working married woman!
Riya’s answer came as a shock to me. To bring me out of the shock, she tried to prove her point by giving an example of Ekta Kapur’s serials. “Reena, can you count the number of serials in which the main lead is a working woman?”
Yes, Riya is right. In our society, the role of a girl is pre-decided from her birth. After a certain age, she has to get married. Looking after her marital house becomes her responsibility. And most importantly, people ‘evaluate’ her performance on the basis of how efficiently she does household chores. If she takes care of her home, husband, in-laws and cooks delicious food, she gets full marks. But negative marking starts as soon as she tells people that she is a working woman.
Listen to what Riya has to say
I wake up early in the morning, make breakfast and lunch for myself and husband, does puja and then rush to the office along with my husband. This is my routine as a married working woman. I enjoy working and contributing towards my family’s needs.
But I am not a good bahu. Do you know why?
Because I work more outside the home and less at home!
Even after working for more than 11 hours at the office, I am unproductive, do you know why?
Because I don’t do as much household chores as I am supposed to do!
Even after working at weekends and juggling office-home life, I have lots of free time, do you know why?
Because I live alone with my husband without in-laws and kids.
Even after handling tricky clients at the office and getting appreciation from bosses, I am uneducated, do you know why?
Because I am not ‘well-educated’ in the department of the kitchen.
My Desperation to Get the Medal of Adarsh Bahu
Yes, even after achieving success in corporate life, I often come across such comments which directly raise a question on my education and job. Such comments deduct my numbers and I never got the certificate of Adarsh Bahu.
As an independent working woman, I handle money-matters at my home. For instance, a few months back, I bought a family health insurance plan and believed me, I did all the necessary research for it. I purchased a family floater health plan and covered my husband in that.
However, my education and skills prove short because I can’t make suitable parantha or kadi-chawal!
But why, I need to prove myself at every point in time? Why can’t I expect the same respect which my husband and other male family members get due to their earning ability? If my husband is working till late, it is work, but if I am working till night, people raise questions.
Respect me not because of my paycheck, but because I deserve it!
The irony is that we belong to the nation where a film like, ‘Ki & Ka’ become a hit because of its ‘unique’ story. Here the unique story is that the hero looks after the house and his wife works in the corporate world. Undoubtedly, the movie is good but can you call it a unique story, if it would have followed the society rule that says, a wife should look after the house and husband should go and earn?
If a husband cooks, a wife becomes the luckiest woman on this planet. But if a wife cooks, arey, it’s not a big deal. It’s her responsibility.
I am not a feminist who wants to prove anything to anyone. I am not the attention-seeker who want to draw world’s attention towards my job. I am just a simple and normal girl who only wants to tell people that a working woman can also become ‘Adarsh Bahu’ like a housewife.
Usually, we read such articles in which writers try to prove that people should give importance to housewives as well. What if they don’t go out and earn? They are taking care of your house so that you can go out and earn!
However, the scenario has been changing slowly. Now housewives are getting more attention which I lack as a working lady. And I strongly believe it is the case with most of the working ladies out there.
Listen to me….
Don’t judge my competencies on the basis of the shape of my poori or the basis of the taste of my bhindi ki sabzi.
You are doing a fabulous work by managing the house. But give some credit to a working woman as well because she is managing both house and job. Don’t think that her life is smooth as she doesn’t need to do household work and she can easily roam outside the house. But believe me, her life is not as simple and hassle-free as you think because earning money is not an easy task. If you don’t believe me, ask your husband or son!
Even though she has fewer household chores, but she has lots of office-work, which equal the equation:
Housewife: Lots of household work
Working Woman: Lots of office work + Less household work= Lots of work
Thanks, Riya, for allowing me to get your story published here.
Image Credit: Pinterest
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