Indian Weddings: More like an attempt to show off wealth, less like rituals

Do you know, Isha Ambani’s wedding card cost Mr. Mukesh Ambani over Rs 3 lakh per card?

Indian Wedding: Affluent decoration, lots of pricey gifts, wedding trousseau, never ending wedding rituals. Phew

Getting married is the second most important thing for Indians after buying house. But sadly, Indian wedding involves a rally of comparisons and gossips.

Oh, bhala papdi tastes bad. What is the earning of the groom? Oh, the bride is looking so dark.

Are these ‘blessings’ you want for your life’s important day? Are you ready to spend your hard earned money on such people?

Is it really tough to do a simple wedding in India? As they say, marriage is a sacred union between two people. Or one can say, between two families. Then why this union becomes like a ‘show’ where thousands of people gather not to celebrate but to compete on dress, jewellery and venue.

I agree Indian weddings are fun…. BUT

No doubt, Indian weddings are super fun. The variety of lip-smacking food, excitement in the air, bua and chachis gossiping like there’s no tomorrow. It’s like a Diwali or Christmas celebration.

But beneath all these glitz, there are fathers, mothers, siblings who are running from pillar to post for making marriage arrangements. There is a family that has taken loans and sold properties just to outdo their relatives and impress them. From bargaining with tentwalla, to ensuring only hot food is served to guests to making staying arrangements, family members need to go through a grilling ordeal. They try hard to put such a great show in the delusion that society will like and respect them.

Starting from venue, décor, food, dress to rituals, an average Indian wedding can cost anywhere between Rs 20 lakhs and Rs 5 crores.

Marriage is a costly affair
Note: Calculations assume a gathering of 200 guests. Actual costs may vary according to the venue and package you choose.
Source: The Economic Times

Parents start saving for marriages of their kids, especially girls, from their birth. Sadly, with the rising trend of destination weddings, their savings always fall short. In the end, most of them either sell their property or borrow from others.

Indian weddings are expensive
Note: Calculations assume a gathering of 200 guests. Actual costs may vary according to the venue and package you choose.
Source: The Economic Times

Indian marriage system has more like a ‘show-off’ and less like a real celebration. It is the pure hypocrisy that says if Mr. Sharma has spent Rs 20 lakh on her daughter’s wedding then Mr. Verma should spend at least Rs 21 lakh.

I understand we are social animals but spending lakhs or crores on marriages- do you think it is fine? Everything is lavish and grand. But do you actually need this? Or are you just complying with society norms?

Let’s talk about the real purpose of wedding guests

  1. Females: They want to wear the best dresses with heavy jewellery and keep a track on the dresses of others.
  2. Kids: They come just to play.
  3. Young people: Most of them come because there is no dinner being prepared at home for them.
  4. Males: They would compare arrangements with their functions and do their best in finding flaws.
  5. Senior citizen: They give lessons on morality and rituals.

 

For the lifetime event, people spend their lifetime savings

Do you really want to spend your hard-earned money on those people from whom you haven’t heard from the last 15 years?

That neighborhood aunty who talked behind your back when you came late at night; that relative who taunted you when you scored less than his son. Do you really want to spend your money on such people? That money which you might have earned after juggling with lots of office politics and torture of your boss.

Instead of big fat wedding, Ankita opted for a temple wedding.

Why should you make marriage a crazy nerve wrecking event where everybody is on panic mode? It’s the universal truth that bride and groom never enjoy their wedding. The pressure of looking amazing can kill anyone.

This is the moment it looks like, it is mandatory for bride and groom to smile non-stop otherwise, their wedding will not be registered. Like a dreaded test exam, it becomes only lengthy and tough. But don’t you think marriage should be about happiness only?

Now where to spend money?

Trust me, you will find hundreds of reasons to spend money after wedding. You will need money to set up your house. If you are living with your friends, you may need a huge amount as security deposit and rent. Then there will be basic items like TV, refrigerator, utensils, sofa, bed, etc.

If you are like Ankita, you would like to save money for travelling.

It is necessary to stop spending money on the wedding and save it for setting up your house. Parents should understand that there is no use in spending lakhs of money on marriages when your children will have to live in rented accommodation after the wedding.

Many of you might argue that marriage is once a lifetime event and therefore, it should be grand. But here the point exactly is this- marriage is only one event in your life, don’t overspend and save money for those things which you may frequently need.

Even if you are super rich, you should judiciously spend your money and help people who are struggling to get even basic things. By doing this, you will get lots of blessings which I am sure you will need for your wedding. The real celebration is with loved ones. Those loved ones who actually love you for what you are.

Our elders think too much about ‘log kya kehenge’. It’s a high time that you tell them ‘logo ka kaam hai kehna’. Those ‘log’ will never come to repay your loan EMIs. You can’t make everyone happy, so stop even trying it.

My motto behind this is not to shame anyone. If you have resources and you want your d-day to be grand, go ahead. But if you don’t have resources and you are taking loans to do it, then there is a red flag there.

Let’s change the way we celebrate. Start giving importance to self over society.

Make sure that you save beautiful memories of marriage not the hefty bills of caterers and decorators.

Image Source: Hindustan Times

 

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