Motherhood is both enriching and challenging. While the joy of holding the little munchkin is bliss, a 360-degree turn in lives makes it tough as well. For a first time new mothers, the journey is slightly more difficult owing to the simple reason- no experience.
A new mother has plenty of things to worry about like diaper change, feeding, recovering, etc. On top of it questions like aim I producing enough milk for my baby, will my C-section pain ever go? how to tackle with sleep deprivation? etc; are enough to create lots of stress.
Above all, the remarks and comments by friends and family further add to woes.
Let’s have a look at some of the things that can make a new mom anxious and therefore, one should never say to her:
You look tired: It is a rude remark as she knows she looks tired. Try saying “can i take care of baby for sometime”? She will be happy to listen to this and hopefully get some sleep and peaceful time.
Expecting a new mom to dress up and look fresh is no less than inhuman.
Baby cries so much: Baby cries when he/she is hungry, tired, bored, or wants to attract attention. In short, a baby can sometimes cry without a reason as well. So stop complaining about baby’s cries and saying, “oh poor baby, cries so much.”
All babies are different and act differently. Some cry and sleep a lot than others. So don’t ever try to compare.
Baby looks weak: Though every mother is super anxious about her child’s health, hearing the same thing repeatedly can add to her worries. So while visiting a newborn, refrain from saying that baby looks weak or growth of the baby is less, unless you can give her solution to increase the baby weight.
Babies weighing 2.5 kg or above at the time of birth, are healthy
You will never lose belly weight: After 24 days of my delivery, my relative told me- Your tummy looks so big. You will never be able to lose weight and you will always look like this.
No matter how true these statements, no new mother would like to hear comments on her weight. Even a baby takes nine months to come in this world, so at least give a mother some months’ time to lose her pregnancy weight. Moreover, after delivery, the first priority of a mother is to provide proper feed to her child. Losing weight is the last thing in her mind.
Irony is that a new mother will be called careless and heartless who doesn’t care about her child if she loses weight immediately after her delivery. But if she doesn’t, she will be called obese.
Breastmilk supply will never increase: As a baby grows, his/her hunger pangs also increase and with that increases the breastmilk supply. But putting undue pressure on a new mom by telling her that her breastmilk supply is less and will remain like that only, put undue pressure on a mother. Refrain from saying “Why don’t you start top feed? I guess your milk supply is less.”
Let a mother decide what she wants to choose and respect her decision: Pumping, Bottle Feeding or Breastfeeding.
Stop being too sensitive: Just like a baby is trying to fit in the life outside womb, a new mother is also trying to cope with motherhood- the new phase of life. While learning the motherhood tricks, she might become oversensitive and fussy. It’s imperative to understand her and extend the same support that you gave her during pregnancy.
Postpartum depression is a reality
Sometimes, less is more. It becomes so true when you are visiting a new mother. Less advice equates to more peace for a new mother.
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